well..
went out to bedok corner..
makan carrot cake..
woiishh my fav!
jah mkn some odd pasta..
haha.. stoopid aunty looked.. no actuali stared at me bile aku sneeze..
mepek kn.
wads her prob..
haiyoo..
den make our way to empire donut.
used to be munchy donut. but now empire donut.
ok la. uniform kinda cool..
well lama tak mkn donut. but juz naw aku tak beli uh..
well.
da bis makan. make our way to chai chee.
lpak ngan farhah.
wel.. not much happen today la. coz morning je da happening.
haha.
wake up call sia.
waduh.
now juz finished chatted wif aslam.
going to sleep.
wow.. surprising fafa tdo cepat on saturday nite. haha.. or friday nite?
well wad to do. my day was kinda bore.
hmm.. hoped tomoro is sum gd day. mirah ajak main pool ngan matair nye,wan.
maybe furqan ikot. well lama uh tk jumpa dia. ouh. baru 17 eh.. ahha..
hmm.. hoping farhah cud cum along. but member kene gi keje kawin kn.
nid to confem wif jah. so yea. pape aku contact dia sok pagi.
k la.
ngantok.
love every moment as my days passing by...

well..
was awaken by thy msg of sumone.
msg2 dia.. fer a while..
den tot dat i cud sleep bck.
haikkel lak msg.
abey org da reply. bukan nk reply balek.
so..
slept fer a while
den woke up at 11..(actuali tk ley tdo uh)
on my lappy.. appear offline kt msn. changed my pm n nick.
den heard vibration. my phone. he called.
bbual jap ngan dia. he was having his break time. keje sei member.
put down da phone wif him.
i dunno y i was smiling.
den mat sepet gi hi aku. sum unknown guy who add me at tagged.
den. chat jap ngan dia. boring la him.
den went bathing. ate. den now blogging.
heard sum cool song. like tiz one..

aku bukanlah
wanita yang semau gue
tapi aku lah si cewek cuek
kamu mau apa?

aku mencari sebuah cinta
yang ada di hati
jangan-janganlah kau mempermainkan
cinta ku lagi.

jangan ganggu aku
kalau kau masih
punya persaan
biarkan diriku sendiri saja
mengahdapi hidup..





nice song.
jah lom call..
maybe later i nid to go anta bursary.
shit. bsok last day. so i realli nid to go anta.

aku mendak tau ni.
tu sbb aku edit gambar bodoh ni..
haiz..
haha.. getting to noe a guy whom i used to noe in da past..
haiz.. everything is cuming bck..
but one thing i noe dat wud never cum bck.
my dad. hmm..
well.. im gonna post again.. at nite. haha.. insyallah!!

CINTA KARMA

Mengapakah kau menghancurkan
Cita-cita yang kita binakan
Mengapa engkau yang menyelapkan
Setelah semua yang ku serahkan..

Bukankah aku yang kau cintai?
Bukankah ku yang kau sayangi?
Bukankah kau yang menglafaskan
Apakah cinta yang kita bina akan berkekalan?

Sayang.. Cinta kita tak berpanjangan
Ketika aku sedang berada di alam khayalan
Terbayang wajahmu, menjadi bayangan..
Sayang.. Kau yang inginkan perpisahan
Apakah aku tidak setanding denganmu??
Ataukah kau yang curang di belakang ku??

Mungkin satu hari nanti..
Kita akan bertemu lagi..
Hanya satu ku ingin kau mengingati,
Akan ku lari jauh ke hutan
Membuat kau sebagai satu kenangan
Titisan airmataku tidak dapat dibandingkan dengan hujan
Tidak ku mahu lagi merasakan kesakitan
Walaupun selama ini ku menelan segala kepahitan
Apabila Cinta dan Jodoh tidak berpanjangan

Tidak akan ku melupakan..
PERCINTAAN..
Yang kini hanya menjadi satu lagi kenangan..










Sedih kn?
well..
i wrote thiz thing since sec 4..
i was searching fer sumthing else and found tiz book.
old book.
opened and read old stuffs.. haha i was weird.
so juz decided to post tiz in.
well.
enjoy while u can!!

y does everything have to be this way?
y muz i feel so bad..
padahal noting tau.
haiyoo..
y everything is falling apart?
cheyy bbual mcm baru break. k mepek mepek.
well..
my day today quite bored.
but thanks to Rizal, i gt da ok song..
wanna hear? tak ley!
haha..
so..
started my day bad. ending.... lom tau lagi.
jah called juz now bile aku kat lam bus..
member tanye khabar..
well i said i gt bad news. bout abg berg. well.. member tros.
kau ok tak. takmo nangis tau.
haha.. cute sia jah.
haha..
well.. i was a bit upset la..
coz ppl haf been meddling with ma feelings sia..
wth!!
hey! go get a life and fuck ur own dick ok. tak mo nk sibuk2 mempermain kn prasaan org uh.
haiyo.... stooopid la.
well yest abg mickey(fendi) msg aku.. tanye khabar.. well right timing i need sumone to talk to.
so i kinda blurt everything out to him.
he said. juz get to noe him better la. so that i can erase the doubts on my mind.
well to me.. he kinda sound like. well adik. da la yg sudah tu sudah.
haha..
the thing is i dunno wad to do la. if i noe i wud haf done it. tol tak?
hmm... k back to jah.
jah ajak fafa gi bedok corner sok. coz mcm da lama kn tak pegi sane.
kite plan tu tungu farhah abes skul den we go together.
well... bsok i nid to anta my bursary form to cc kaki bukit.
hmm.. shit! date due lagi satu hari sia. kimak. mama bising je.
hehe.. sorri mama.
went sw. tak main pape. bored. mr chan bebel je.
sap rokok. hey! i nid to quit kn! stoopid fafa.

wad a bad week.


all i need noe is.


Live.Love.Laughs


Now i fell. gona pick myself up again..
get moving and be strong.
well i noe dat farhah n jah are gonna help me thru tiz.
thanks in advance. lau tak tolong kn. bustard sia.
haha..

shit..
i think sumtink happen.
it juz gt worse.
damn.
skrg aku confused.
wad was i doing in btwn of thy life?
aku hampa tau ni.
i gt no say la.
but Siti dun give up.
let me b there wen ur heart stops beating.
its ok. i've been thru shits in any relationship.
almost 10 of them.
well..
well.. i think mama noes dat i smoke..
coz aku nye bodoh g sap rokok kat lam bilik..
but i tot bau da takde sey.
well.. wad to do. peng uh.
hope tomoro is another great day in skul la plz.
im having pms. hate it so much.

like lily said. every happiness always have an ending. its either ur prepared or not.
but well. i was prepared.
stil i can contact. bt hope it doesnt get worse.
coz once its worsen. im backing off sia.
my firasat was true. i knew it all along.

well.. its all a SIGN..

welll.. ppl juz hoped fer thy best ayte.
Amin.

read thiz if ur in love.. haha.. its so true.. believe me.. im in dat situation..

17:You look at their profile constantly.
16:When you're on the phone with them late at night and they hang up,you still miss them even when it was just two minutes ago.
15:You read their Texts and Ims Over and over again.
14:You walk really slow when you're with them.
13:You feel shy whenever they're around.
11:Your heart beats faster but slower at the same time when you think about them.
10:You smile when you hear their voice.
9:When you look at them,you can't see the other people around you, you just see him.
8:You start listening to slow songs while thinking about them.
7:They're all you think about.
6:You get high just from their scent.
5:You realize you're always smiling when you're looking at them.
4:You would do anything for them!
3:While reading this,there’s one person on your mind this whole time.
2:You were so busy thinking about that person, you didn’t notice number twelve was missing
1:You just scrolled up to check & are now silently laughing at yourself.


kekek sial..
aku nga bace ni benda bodoh ni uh..
kat cpg lesson..
den skali.. aku kekek srg seyy..
tadi kai.. as in kai quan. haha.. tegur sal perfume aku..
chey chey, member tau tau je tu perfume aku.. hehe cute sak dia..
btol pey cinonek..
haiz..
stoopid pms.. hate it sia..
hmmmmmmm...
so.. bout my life now.. ever since im crushed.
still i dun get thy point tau..
am i like clapping one hand.. coz if i do.
i muz stop sia.. tak nk aku shiok sendiri srg2..
but u can see tau how much concern he haf fer u..
thy way he looks at u..
how he calls u..
u can sense how convincing it sounded..
unlike dat stoopid muthafucker zulfadhly sound..
tiz is more real tau..
hmm.. i kept telling myself not to tell him.. coz im not! never..
bt pls la..
onli god cud explain how i felt sia..
his characteristic is soo...... ishk! geram tau.. mcm nk gigit..
haha..
am i da one who plays hard to get or isiit him??
so confused now u noe..
takkan seseorang tu nk testing2 fer no reason kn..
lau hot stuff takpe..
but i believe dat one day, sumthing juz gonna happen..
well.. i noe dat every happiness has a sad ending..
well..... if he cant move on or wad.. den dun make me stuck to u la.
den more i wanna refrain myself frm him.. da more truth is coming out..
ape nk bikin.. ni la wad happens wen fafa is hearting sumone..
abey nk step tak tau.. step tanye sape la. wth..
yes i like u.. so wad..
im gonna stand up fer myself and my feelings..
i dun care wad ppl say..
yeah!!

well.. woke up freaking early today..
phase test day!!
well.. i was like soo prepared fer it..
semangat tau..
haha..
mama woke me up at 630.. but my phase test kol 930 seyy..
wadda heck..
den woke up arnd 730.. ahha.. need to do sumting first..
showered, siap2 smue..
kluar, go shop bought myself nescafe coffee.. coz i was soo freaking ngantok..
make my way to da busstop 222.. wen i realised that my last blouse button tk di-button..
buat malu aje.. wakakaka..
stop kat sblah tampines sec.. took 28 which was freaking ramai org..
i tried to tap my ezlink skali takde bunyi kua..
sot sia.. skali aku malas nk byk songeh i juz dropped a buck inside..
did not take da ticket though.. pemalas..
at last ade tempat dudok.. sat and was listen to my fav song..
den skali gt a missed call frm some org giler la..
i called him back. but rejected. sot. so i msg. ask y called.
he said. turn back. damn!! not again. i replied. baik uh.. haha..
he was in da same bus as me..
wow.. da turon bus.. org giler tu jalan bukan nk hi kape..
langgar2.. haiyo.. so sombong..
den i was like. yelah tu..
den member tanye aku start kol brape. isiit?? kk i forgot wad he asked.
den i said. i dtg siang sey. den he was like. asl gi dtg siang.. ke nk...
damn! prasan. pikir aku takde keje lain nk sengaje gi skola ngan dia..
haha.. kk.. honestly, i tried doing dat. but failed.
bile nk, tk jumpa.. biler tak nk, asyek2 jumpa.. haiz..
ni da straight tau 3 hari muka dia.. haha...
well..
abey member ckp. bsok jg nampak muka u sudah.. wow.. same2 i was thinking like dat..
haha.. pantat sia..
haiz..
abey aru alek sap rokok pon nampak dia lagi..
hehe.. cute sia..
hey2..
kk..
mepek..
well............................
time to chat!!!

i juz dunno y coz today mcm mood down giler sia..
ye nampak je senyum n ketawe but actuali mood down sia..
maybe coz of Monday Blues...
haiz..
went off frm class dj dan early..
make my way to bustop..
saw org giler.. haha..
member nk balek..
den make my way to raffles place..
meet mama..
den.. make our way to her massage place..
quite funny uh da place.
hmm.. after all da shits... i haf to go thru..
we go mkn at banquet.. ate fried kweh teow..
den balek.. kimak mrt pack giler sia..
wad a day seyy..
damm..
den thinking of wad is happening around me..
haiz.. juz wanna ask.. whers QIL?? wad hapen to it?
asl mcm da takde jiwa lagi.. or mmg tak penaha de pon?
hmm... pusing aku..
well..
juz hoping sumone wud juz cheer me up..
im sick and tired la..
im backing off.. in any situation la..
i gt wad i wanted all along.. truths and wished wishes..
im satisfied..
yea.....................................................




y cant i juz forget about it or juz move on or juz get over it???
stoopid la fafa... stoopid bee..

kau nk buat pape kau buat la..
aku da tak kuase nk layan karenah kau lagi..
kau takmo nk complain pape lagi..
kau takmo nk step tak tau crite lagi..
aku lpas tangan..
its all up to u uh..
gasak la ape kau nk bikin..
wad i noe lau kau buat cerita mepek2 kat blakang aku..
siap kau..
tak sangka eh.. org sanggop buat gini..
ade jugak manusia mcm gini..
aniways im so damn realli seriously disappointed wif u..




aniways..
had fun and great today..
went out wif khai fer some revision on studies..
had fun wf him..
go see da "capsule" thingy.. maklom aku ni jakun tak penah tgk and naik..
cool stuff..
he have tiz cool hp..
haha..
funny guy..
so slenger and giler..
well..
thanks fer everything.. one gd memory..
yg pasal ic tu.. haiz.. a memory..
so yea..
back to van helsing.. chaw..

wow..
thanks to my lovely babes i had a realli fun day..
well. woke up.. did my hse chores..
waited fer jah to call..
smue da siap.. den jah call aru bgnn..
fer once i tot tak jadi..
so relieved wen jah called..
den.. make my way to 32.. met farhah and hannah...
den gt crite abt some fucker again..
haiyo..
den jah turon.. skali sluar aku kene gum sey.. as in chewing gum..
karot sey..
i tried my very best to make da gum out of my pants..
den succeed..
make our way to bdok interchange..
pikir farhah nk topup ezlink.. skali tak jadi..
so bus parkway da tunggu..
make our way inside da bus.. den de moment aku nk amek gambar..
i saw a missed call and a msg..
haha.. khai called.. member nampak aku kt bdok..
damn i did not saw him at all.. paisey sey..
hehe..
kk back to da story..
jah was hungry so we go banquet and eat.. nana saw me..
den jah stoopidly make a bad look at some fat girl smp budak tu complain kat bapak dia..
kimak.. kecoh seyy.. aku jugak kene beredar dari situ ngan jah.
hey jah! say thank u to me!! haha..
den.. farhah mcm 50-50 nk gi east coast.. pemalas tol..
den we took some pictures which i will load later..
pas tu kite g main pool..
wow.
lots of things happen today sey..
so hepi..
hmm.. btw saw tiz abg botak.. me n jah saw.. masyallah. ganteng banget deh..
hehe.. well.. dats all.. babes.. i love my frens.. except.. haha.. u noe i noe..

sejenak daku pun terpanah..
melihat dia di depan ku..
dia menjerat hatiku
meratapku tajam..

ku akui tubuhku melonglai..
sempatku memuji dalam hatiku..
jangan fikir aku kn bercinta
ku hanya kagumi.. hanya memuji..

tiz song played in my mind..
ni la.. all bout yest..
da bus was kinda late..
but nvn though..
den board da bus.. not dat ramai org la..
so-so..
i sat and was wondering if fid was in thy bus as me.. or..
den.. while i was thinking of my dearest.. dearest hp...
i looked at tiz guy who looked realli like khai monyet.. remeber.. bro's member??
serious sia. muka same.. da pendek.. same!! haha..
den speaking of da devil..
bila bus da nk kat stop kat bustop skola..
kn bus double-deck..
saw ppl cuming down.. saw fid.. den sumone maybe i noe la..
check2.. si nizam tu..
haha... member jalan menonong je..
ye mmg dia pusing... and saw me..
abey bukan nk hi kape tau.. hehe.. aku nk tegur but.. hey! girls dun make any first move ok!!
haha.. so juz i juz look at him.. walking.. masok skola..
den carry on wif sw and went to eastpoint.. makan jap.. den took my phone..
haiz.. macam2 org aku ngan fid encountered.. haha. went home.. chill and slept..
woke up.. online.. den tiz badot go nudge me..
ade ke dia ckp aku sombong.. padahal2..
we talked nonsense la.. i told him im gonna sleep late.. however..
i was kinda sleepy wen i was chattign wf him..
haha.. den.. bila aku da nk offline.. farhah lak online.. bbual ngan farh jap sal today.. den signed out..
den tiz badot go and call me..
we talked fer a while.. i wonder wad he was thinking wen he talked to me on da phone.. haha gt tiz part i kinda knew wad he was saying.. cuma aku step "huh? wad u said.." hehe.. kekek la dia...

da letak telephone ngn dia.. listen to song.. den sleep..
well. i cant sleep at first.. golek2 den can sleep.. den woke up late..
hmm.. today lpak? maybe.. i need to study..

kau..
sot la..
bbual ngan dia pon mcm siak
pantat tol..
if u dun like me being a fren..
y in da first place..
puji aku, call me fucking sweet names, haf da heart to give ur number..
im bumped sey..
now i haf da full reason of y guys sux!!
pain in my heart and ass sia!
dammit..
im so gonna over it..
even though i enjoyed every conversation wif ya...
so wad..
hmm.......................................................
me + berg guys = Enemy!!
enuf is enuf..

haiyo.
bingit tau nari..
first suroh mother kejot kol 615,
630 lak dia kejot..
abey i took da bus late..
firstly thy weather was freaking hot..
takpe2 aku redha..
den.. de freaking bus was freaking slow and late..
aku da mcm cacing kepanasan siol..
dammit..
den bile bus dah smpai..
ramai org lak tu..
naseb ade tempat dudok.. tu pon org makin masok makin cramp..
kene gesek sane sini uh.. sot tau..
tak suka tak suka tak suka!!
den..
Shit! im suppose to "terserempak wif sumone (covering my cheeks..)"
well.. tak kesampaian.. den.. da sampai busstop.. fidah pon was inside da bus..
haha.. kekek siakk..
went level two classroom as per normal.. naseb class air con seyy...
haha.. wad a relieved..
all da long i was kinda gelisah uh.. dunno yy..
sumthing happened in class juz naw..
class dj dan.. haha.. sialla.. ni uh batu.. chibai!! 3 ketol siakk..
haha.. kimak phobia sia nk tgk tuuuuuu...
haha.. so freaking funny.. abey si kadir tu maseh nk cui2.. hahaha.
kekek siakk...
after dat class... im supposed to go take my syg backk.. my phone la..
namun.. tak kesampaian again.. coz i haf to go to spa jelita.. gt appointment..
haiz. ni bsok takde class.. stakat sw je.. so maybe after dat, aku ajak fid gi eastpoint uh..
hmm..
hoped my syg is ok.. i noe u miss meeee...
haha...
overall my day sux la..
juz hoped to end it in a gd way..
peace out.







MISSING ABG BERG/CUTE/SLENGER/EVERYTHING NICE...
i wonder if he misses me.. but who knows wad that hamba Allah swt is doing and feeling.. haha.. mepek per aku...

so..
days goes so fast..
tiba2 da tuesday..
wow..
i've been encountering lots of shits and sweets..
gt many stories i'm hearing..
wadever la.. asl kn kau bahagia sudah..
so..
as i was saying..
my luck haf been turning away frm me..
frm me being hepppi.. im being moody..
tiz all bcoz of dat guy la.
haiz..
went is thiz thing gonna hapen..
im so gonna be over it..
he realli reminds me of fairuz..
ooohh.. tat cutie.. if onli ur taller..
haha..
i've been lepakking wif jah n farh all tiz while..
kit bbual mepek2..
make up stoopid stories..
haha.. weirdos.. haha.. mee too..
so..
tiz afternoon i watched crite.. "qabil khusry qabil igam"
kau.. crite soo sad u noe..
air mata meleleh je. naik kering mata aku..
haiz.. at last most of da character mati..
haiz... so sad la..
den met up wif farh..
go eat KFC.. kite kn touching.. since jah's not ard at dat moment..
so.. went macdonalds.. beli iced latte..
den walked all da way frm bedok to chai chee..
by da tyme we reached der.. da ramai org..
den gt tiz grp of china men and women gadoh2..
kimak bising tau.. sot la..
den after dat i went home..
now im back wif hp-less again..
wen am i gonna get my phone.
haiz..
wed!! tatz shud be da day.. im gonna wait fer my sayang..
oh syg ku.. oh W580i..

u've known a guy whom freaking down to earth guy..
a very rare guy..
fer the first tyme u saw him, u tot he was like a very diff kind of guy...
u tot he was juz a guy like other normal guy..
he's cute, tall, fair.. everything wad a girl want..
u tried getting his attention.. but u tot u failed..
after a few days.. he start to talk to you.. and finally u gt his mobile number..
he start to msg u.. call u..
den cum the stmf part.. he calls u cute names no one ever called u b4..
den.. u and him started to meet up.. go werk together.. chill together..
juz like a normal close frens..
he asked u if u like sumone.. u said yes.. and u wer kinda referring to him..
but u told him otherwise.. juz a stranger or a classmate or a "sumguy"
although he sounded like " i know whos da guy.. its me" type..
he still play da "hard to get" part.. coz he onli knows u as a fren..
after a few months having a crush on him..
after knowing his mum.. and him knowing ur mum..
da mcm kawan rapat giler..
one sudden day, u gotta noe dat he's acting diff frm u..
u get to know that he gt himself a girl..
he spilled it to u on da phone..
(as usual u talk on da phone wif him)
u were like.. fuck!!.. den suddenly tears of "joy" came rolling down ur cheeks...
u were so heppi fer him till u kinda back off..
u waited and waited fer him till months over.. all of ur frens were like "hey stop it with that kind of behaviour la.. try moving on"
but u juz cant.. u keep think about him.. seeing his faces everyday and everwher..
u juz cant stop tinking about him.. kept talking about him to ur frens..
but u know that u and him were meant to be frens onli..
den.. one day.. he called u up.. saying all his probs to u abt he n his gf..
a part of u wanted them to break up.. but bcoz of ur love to him..
u helped him in da relationship..
without him knowing, u meet up wif his gf and talk things out..
she decided to chill things out and move on wif him..
and becoz of seeing him so heppi wif his gf..
u went home crying on ur mum's lap.. spilling every bit of secret u held over the past few months... and u decided to move on to an new counrty..
maybe Melbourne.. u packed ur stuffs and decided to move on..
u called him up and told him that ur'e going away..
as a close fren.. he kinda shocked and hated u fer telling him last minute..
he kept asking u y to this sudden changes..
he kept calling u n msging u but u buat bodoh la..
at da very last moment, wen u took da cab to airport.. he came to ur hse..
he asked ur mum of y ur doing tiz.. he sense that sumthing is juz not rite about u
since he have a "gf".. he actuali "broke up" wif da gf bcoz da "gf"
knows that u love him..
the way u advice his gf wen they were fighting.. is as if ur his gf..
he confessed his feelings to ur mum.. that is wen ur mum told every single detail about u loving him.. he was so bumped and shocked.. ur mum asked him to stop u frm going Melbourne while he can..
so he took da cab and went straight to da airport..
meanwhile.. u reached at thy airport.. crying on why does this happen to u..
y muz da one whom u tot were da one fer u end up like dat.. u were so disappointed in ur life so much dat u wanted to leave Singapore.. u tot dat u cn move on in life if u r not thinking about him..
u saw an empty seat in front of da passport counter and sat..
"departing in half an hours tyme"
ur heart beat so fast.. coz ur gonna start a new life..
u took ur bag and walk towards da counter..
suddenly....
someone shouted ur name ".....!!!"
u knew it was him.. u stopped coz ur thinking.. how da hell he knows im here..
u can hear his footsteps getting closer and closer to u..
u wiped ur tears and looked up..
he's standing in front of u acting so blur and asked u..
"y are u avoiding me and y are u doing tiz to me? am i not a part of ur life? im ur best fren.."
without any further a do, u walked away frm him..u said..
"im so stoopid to love sumone who never looked me deep enuf.."
"dont u love me animore?" as he catch ur left hand..
u stopped.. and turned.. seeing his cute berg face..
looking at him like a 5 yr old blur kid..
he said.." all thiz while i've been stoopid.. here's da truth..i started to like u since da day i've met u.. i tot ur da one fer me as we're getting close at da moment.. i tot u knew i love u.. but sad u kept saying u love tis stranger. i never knew that was me till juz now.. im so sorry if i've been giving u probs and sadness all thiz while.. i nver had a true lover like u b4.. i never was in love wif dat girl i called gf.. we were juz frens coz i tot u liked sumone else..and she haf been da one who helped me to try to move on in life.. i purposely said that she's my gf.. coz i want u to think that i haf gf and im heppi.. i purposely said that im having probs wif my "gf" coz i know u're gonna be there fer me... y didnt u juz tell me that u love me if u realli accept me as ur best fren??"
silence kills dat moment..
tears were falling off ur cheeks.. straight away u hugged him..
he said he was sorry.. never meant to make things hard fer u.. he wiped ur wet face..
and hugged u again...
u were so heppi knowing that finally his urs now..
and since dat moment u knew u gonna haf a new life ahead...
he began to kneel down, took a ring out of his pocket and said.." wud u marry me?"
u hugged him and said yes.. (while da ring was still n his hand)..

haf u ever wonder if that happens to u in real life..
how wud u bear wif da situation??
will u wait fer da guy whom u had crush on fer such a long time??
well.. if i were dat girl.. yes i will wait.. but not fer long..
well.
occured to me many tymes.. but pls la.. many more guys still out there la..
hmm.. actuali.. juz naw me, jah and farh was making up tiz stoopid situation uh..
haha.. kekek sial..
we tok nonsense la... mcm2 scene siakk kite crite..
haha.. they made my day sia today..
actuali aku tgh hampa ni.. bcoz of him la.. aku mcm da so over him la.. try my luck again next tyme.. k la.. gtg.. enjoy while u can!!

kpale aku pusing banget deh..
ntah kenapa hari berlalu gitu slow sekali..
aku ingin bilang kamu..
tapi..
aku takot deh..
emanggnya aku ngak mau kamu pikir aku suka gila sama kamu..
cuma.. aku kagum sama kamu..
kamu ngakk akan mengerti perasaan aku..
aku teringat cerita apa artinya cinta..
waduh!! laki itu ganteng banget gitu!!...
sperti yg berlaku pada aku skrg ini..
aku berasa malu mahu melihat wajah nya yang begitu..ishk.. aku tak terkata2...
aku berasa gini kerna aku tiba2 rindu gitu sama laki itu..
aku rasa dia tahu aku suka sama dia..
cuma dia..... aku ngak tahu apa motivenya..
dia selalu menanya aku soalan yg pelik2 gitu.... aku kadang2 jadi pusing deh..

andainya dia tahu perasaan aku terhadap nya..
aku cuma akan berkata bahwa aku cuma suka saja sama kamu..
ngak lebih ngak kurang..
aku tahu kita akan berkawan sahaja..
aku tahu..
begitu sama aku..
waduh!! pusing la sama kekasih gelapku ini.. cuma dia bukan gelap deh.. hehehe..
apa kata sahabat gue itu benar kok..
kita harus berkawan sahaja..

"" oh.. tuhan, ku cinta dia.. berikan lah aku hidup..

takkan ku sakiti dia.. hukum aku bila terjadi..

aku tak mudah untuk mencintai.. aku tak mudah mengaku ku cinta..

aku tak mudah mengatakan aku jatuh cinta.. ""

SHIT!!
NOW I JUZ REALISE HOW BAD I WAS WEN I POST THY OTHER POSTS...
HAHA..
DAMMIT..
MAN!! PAISEY2..
HAHA..
WEELL..
FARHAH.. HELP ME BEB..
JAH TOLONG!
NOT AGAIN SIA...
SOB SOB..
I THINK I JUZ MAKE DA BIGGEST MISTAKE..
IM NOT SUPPOSE TO LIKE OR LET ALONE LOVE.. SUMONE..
btw..im not in love ok..
hmm..
well..
juz need to concentrate on family and frens..and skul..
well..
even if there's no luck in me falling in love again..
its ok..
sooner or later i'll move on btol tak???
haha..
well..
juz let me be heppi while i can.. juz enjoy da feeling of living singlehood..
which i dun think i wud survive in singlehood
damn..


k la..
i noe la im lame..
well..
u shud noe wad..


maybe wad farhah say is true..
kwn2 sudah..
wad im feeling in my heart no one noes... except.. HIM (as in allah)..
k la.. maybe i'll blogg soon..
aku tak nk org pikir lak aku ni shiok sendiri..
haa..

hey2..
guess wad.. i came to skul today lincah siot..
haha..
well..
met up wif HIM in da bus..
wow..
he's...............
damn.. im speechless sia..
but cool uh.. he doesnt look like malay..
damn.. he's qite tall..
i think he pierce his tongue..
coz his "s" is so peylat.
haha.. guess wad his name is....
i wont tell... haha...
so... he's da same as jah.. pract one.. best seyy ttgk drg bawak helmet gi skola.
haha..
aku lagi.. nak step mane nye rider aje bawak org nye helmet.
haha smangat seminit je..
haiz........................
well yest nite..
tok on da phone wif BRO den cant sleep..
den tok on da phone wif HIM..
well.. i slept well yest..
so no terkial-kial wen i woke up juz naw..
weell..
i dunno y mr DJ DAN is in my class..

damn.. i hoped my day goes well today..
plz!!!!

damn.. am i like having infactuation again??
shit shia...
dammit..
but he's so cute..
haha..
he makes me feel.. degap degup whenever i see or think bout him..
y am i feeling this way..
haha..
shit...
pls sumone help bee..
bee's getting much more honey than bee usuali does..
"Tuhan kirim kan la aku.. kekasih yg baik hati.. yg mencintai aku.. apa adanya.."

haha..
reminds me of dat song..
well..
i'll write again soon..
haha..

ouh ya..
actuali im now stuck btwn two incredible guys..
but i muzn't do any stopid stuff first..
i muz analize their prangai first..
one of them was wad i wanted all along.
the other wan was perfect romeo seyy...
damnn..
im in dillema..


LOVE IS IN THY AIR.. FEEL IT..
chey da macam mohabbatein seyy.. haha

damn it..
get to noe more guys lately..
da name?? tak perlu tau..
but thiz one guy haf be realli testing my patience siall..
dia pk dia mane nye big stuff siak..
SARCASM IS THE WERD MAN!!..
kimak..
sot sial otak aku..
but never mind.. i believe on retribution!! go QIL!!
kk takde link..
well..
hmm..
i need to cut down on the numbers of guys sakk..
i think i juz cut to two..
its ok if i dun get to noe da real them..
i dun mind..
well.. naw aku ade misi..
wakaka.. i think farhah noes.... haha..takpe nanti aku bilang jah..
haha...
well.. met sum guy named taufiq.. muka familiar sak..
dia dulu campor budak2 chai chee..
well now 20 yrs old... knows hazwan.. haha.. small werld..
he ajak his sedare.. so da AM sia.. so short n.........
ok..
den me n farh had a great day.. dammit we smoke like hell sia..
i dunno y..
fer wad i noe was dat.. i was so dizzy... n couple of guys keep msging me..
sampai aku malas nk layan.. and well.. i vomittedd!!!..
dammit..
i never go skul today... kimak ni confem attendance turon sia..
but heng! aku ade MC..
so...
talked on da phone wif one fucker.. sial btol.. he said we shud move on and that we shud not contact again.. so i agreed to it.. tapi he keep msging me and he keep calling me.... sial... wadda hell he want sia i dunno.. den he kept talking sarcastic wif me.. aku mcm nk bagi je.. but i backd off..

well..
after i put down da phone wif him..
sum matrep mane call aku.. sibok je tau..
haha check2 BRO
haha.. bbual lame siol... dammit.. shit! i juz realise sumthing.. i talked nonsense wif him sia!! haha..well.. coz b4 dat i took panadol.. and i was kinda sleepy..
but talking to him made me like wake up call sia.. dia pon sekaki bbual mepek haha..
sial la..
haiz...

you noe wad..
im thinking sumthing rite naw..
ppl who dun noe half of pls uh dun talk like as if u noe me like since forever eh..
bbual tu takmo mcm paham..
i hate sia if a guy whom i juz noe make a fucking bad impreesion of himself..
da uh i had it...
plz!! sum one help me..
i suppose to be on hiatus... not da other way around..
haha..
farhah!! tijah!! help.... haha..
k la2...
i'll blogg soon....

kimak mepek sia..
things went so weird nowadays..
some weird girl comment n msg me in frensta..
asking me whether im hendra irwan's ex...
wadda hell sia...
but "she" sounded so eager la to noe..
tu takpe..
suddenly after months..
wan that same old hendra irwan chat wif me..
i go like shicked.. duh..
member tanye of i miss him or not..
mepek sia..
if i wanna go bck wf im la. or do i have any regrets la..
mapek kn..
den... add farhah to da conversation..
bbual ngan dia..
it juz dun sounded like wan's da one doing da chatting la..
coz fer wad i noe..
he have no comp at home.. he usuali borrow kwn nye laptop..
entah btol ke tak..
den.. he's typing usuali very lambat tau..
abey tadi mcm cepat gitu kn..
den..
he was like..
no job rite naw... so-unstable income..
masyallah!!


i juz dun find it coincidently kwn wan comment me in frensta..
and he out of sudden chat wif me..

haiz..
well..
juz to let u ppl noe..
i dun wanna date any guys rite naw..
frens will do.. not fucking hanky panky shittings wif me at all..
im going berhenti berharap...

otak btol..
i dunno y but i can sense da "hinting" behaviour of him..
nowadays..
haha...
k i noe mepek la.. but i myself juz cudnt help it disturbing him..
haha..
dia fun la..
asalkan aku keje eh.. i tried my very best not to layan kn sgt..
pls la.. member da ade yg punye ok..
siap letak gambar matair nye kt hp ok..
but da weird thing is dat..
he love to disturb me..
always so heppi wen he does dat..
i dunno y..
there was a moment of me n him..
da mcm scene hindustan la sia.. haha.. kekek siot..
member amek gambar aku lagi..
kimak aku nga selekeh sia dia amek..
tapi bukan satu dua..
3 ke 4 sia gambar dia amek..
haha..
funny guy.. but tidor pe gambar aku..
ker????..... kk mepek!!
wee..
wad a day..
soo many stories in so little time to change ppl..
haha..
well..
juz luck bebey..
nytes..

saat kau pergi
berlinanglah air mataku
betapa cinta ku rasakan
kebahagiaan itu
kini lenyaplah sudah

tak pernah ku inginkan
perpisahan ini terjadi
ku hanya bisa merelakan
jika memang kau pikir
ini lah yang terbaik

reff:
tak perlu kau beri alasan
mengapa kau ingin pergi meninggalkan diriku
karena ku yakin mungkin semuanya itu bisa
membuatmu bahagia

sepenuhnya ku menyadari
bahwa cinta itu tak mesti harus memiliki
namun ku akan terus selalu menyayangimu
setulusnya hati

tak pernah ku inginkan
perpisahan ini terjadi
betapa cinta ku rasakan
kebahagiaan itu
kini lenyaplah sudah



hmm.. best tau lagu dia!!
reaalii reminds me of da freaking bustard part..
haha..
well..
dunno if i deserve it or not..
but definately he doesnt deserve me at all!!!

hmm.. got new news...
well..
realli dunno wad to say..
im realli kecik hati la..
now smue terserah kpada Yg Lebih Mengetahui...
i realli lpas tangan la..
juz hope things get better after my makcik kawin..
wel.. juz move on wif life la..
well.. thiz guy..
juz cannot get loose of him..
juz make him pay back everything..
yea... k gt some confidence due to someone..
haha.. well.. hope to get things better in fiture..
well.. not gonna waste ani hopes n faith to move on in life kn..
kk.. gtg..
need to try out sumthing.. wakaka...

shitful day today...
i wont brag aniting today..
juz felt like crushed into tiny pieces today..
dammit..
had it wif guys sia..
wadda hell they want wif girls??
kini ku berhenti berharap..
its always been like thiz man..
damn it retribution..
da sparks go off at the wrong timing..
hmm..
ouh God..
find me a guy whom i can realli spend my life wif..
a guys who realli reflects me in his eyes..
hmm.. kini baru ku sedari selama ini ku dikecewai..
haiz.. im done..
done wif all thiz shits.. no more feelings fer now...
juz frens will do fer me....
i trust no guy...........................................

well.. woke up early today..
at ten bebey..
gi mandi siap2 smue..
den headed fer work..
hmm.. smpai je da ramai org..
haiz.. den waited fer a while den abie pon dtg..
well..
bile abie nga amek stock..
aku coco-up jap ngan register..
haha..
ala.. ppl make mistakes.. abey si linda bkn nk tolong.. byk soal sak..
wadda hell siol..
den.. terserempak ngan nico.. siak..
teringat siol sec 2 member mintak stead..eeee..
stoopid la fafa..
haha.. well.. tok fer a while..
den dia da beli donut den dia jalan..
after all dat shits.. i go lpak wif farhah..
well standard mesti ada rokok.. smp gulong pon jdi..
beli gulong.. abey tak tau gulong. kekek la farh..
den.. byk uh story aku dgr.. now aku da lpas tangan uh..
ape nk jadi..jadi la.. i gt no say..
den... jah pon turon.. member keje kol 7..
tok abt budak2 yg dok sblah kte.. mcm gay sak.. sumpah..
toking bout gay..
well..
farh told me dat some of da lws peeps wanna join our dance crew..
well.. kite kn 4 je.. so better la wif many ppl..
but lws.. aku tak caye kn sgt la..
but hoped it went well..
well..
ppl better be commited to tiz crew man.. lau tak..
i'll screw dem up yea~!!

well... woke up early today..
kene kemas umah nari..
man! da weather was freakking hot and aku kene kemas umah..
siak la..
aku kemas umah sampai mandi peluh siul..
weish..
skian lama aku tak kemas umah kn..
haha.. penat seyy..
den gt sum confusing moment wif fizah n a black hat..
end up me meeting her n shirah at katong..
da place wher i met mother oso..
went to golden chance coz mother wanted a new bracelet..
haiz.. mcm2 tau.. da beli satu nk dua lak tu..
haha.. but i told her not to buy two.. buang2 duit sak..
imagine 1,436K... haiz.. cukup!!
haha..
so after dat.. jalan2 jap kt furst lady..
gt tiz bju lawa la seyy.. pikir nk beli skali no small size..
takpe la.. moving on.. nk beli kasot.... takde size besar.. masyallah!!
takpe moving on..
beli ice cream cone.. strawberry.. den go geylang mkn..
nk mkn.. mknan mostly smue da bis.. so takde rezeki aku la nk mkn..
den end up buy roti john.. well.. tak suka2 pon abes jugak..
wakakaka..
den..
walked all da way frm geylang to eunos.. kat guthrie building der..
the place wher spa jelita is located..
gi facial wif mother.. best siot..
muka fresh la seyy..
bought some product der and go fer a facial treatment..
mahal la seyy.. ni pon aku kene bayar balek la seyy..
haiz.. total cost.. 1.7K.. about der uh.. den i go schedule my appointment..
maybe nxt nxt friday.. at 2.30 like dat. wee...
den go chai chee seafoood restaurant wif mother..
ni part makan mcm2... sampai perot senak.. haa.. well maybe coz perot masok angin coz i nvr eat frm morning.. stakat roti john je..
haiz.. den naw.. blogging..
well..
been very tired...
so need well rest..
but someone wanted to call.. lambat nah..
haiz..

not funni la..
mepek la..
well.. wake up..
got sumone msg.. pikir sape je..
rupanye si kecik tu..
dia suro kol lau aku da bgn..
so i kinda took my own sweet tyme..
mandi dulu.. makan.. coz sumhow i noe if i call..
its either he haven wake up or.. bz la..
so.. watch tv.. chat wif farhah.. asking wad tyme lpak..
den..
at last..
i called him.. hah!! member tak angkat la sia..
sot jer otak aku..
so i tot i might be bothering hym so i juz kept quiet..
so moving on in life.. met wif farhah n jah..
fie cant lpak coz member demam.. call aku nangis2.. dunno y..
den sakit2 da nangis is considered she's realli in pain la..
ok.. but maseh ley chat ni.. haiz..
den wad she told me is she n her mum go see doctor..
juz hoped dat fie's well soon..
den.. lpak kt chai chee..
well.. not da usual place..
we tok stoopid2 stuffs..
den go pay my hse n phone bills.. surprising bill aku stakat 30 plus..
wee~~!! den jumpa yaya n rifdi!!
wee! rifdi da besar tau.. so cute... haiz.. haha.. k fafa brangan...
den.. went off early.. coz mama ajak gi tgk bju pengantin fer cik liah..
haha.. lawa la sia bju dia..
siak btol.. haha.. jeles aku.. wakaka.. wens my turn.. oh ya i forgot..
dat guy msg me.. ckp aru angon.. see wad i meant.. i noe la guys.. haha..
well.. now nga very ngantok n penat..
bsok tak skola as usual..
well..
nyte2 ppl..
ouh ya..
i edited my frensta profile..
cool..
bye

yeah.. bsok tak skola..
den friday pon tak skola.
about da saman thingy.. aku kene jugak..
coz i so called break da law.. coz no smokers under 18..
kimak..
lau drg run a spot check kat smue budak lam skola tu kn..
confem kaya sak government..
dpt 30 ketol frm everyone..
sial btol..
bukan nk kasi chance ngan aku ke..
ape je..
kk.. im not gonna be over it till i pay dat 30 bucks..
burn sak gaji..
haiz..........................
naw...
confused...
to call or not to call...
abey member bukan nk reply.. pantat tol..
reply la.. ok ke...ni bukan.. senyap tros..
aku rasa aku tdo pon cantik uh..
haha.. ni farhah ckp nk jogging nari lam kol brape bukan nk lang..
haiyo..
haha..
well.. aku pon mcm semangat seminit je..
ape nk bikin bsok..
i mean nari..
lpak kol 2.. den fie kene blah kol 4..
jah blah kol 6 sal keje..
den left farh n me..
ape sia nk bikin????
aku mcm suspek kuat kn.. bsok drg pangggil aku keje..
but dunno la kn... hmm..
fafa.. bile nk quit keje bodoh ni..
sigh..
well... today kat skola learned sum new stuffs..
subject cpg..
hmm...cool jugak la.. but sayang class abis siang nari..
hmm.. seriously... im fucking bored sakk..
ape nk bikin ni...
nk kol ke tak nk.. abey si dekni bukan nk reply..
da la.. pape i continue sum other tyme..